Being guarded

logo2moss150x50‘Fiore the Flame’ was in a contemplative mood.

Fiore was despondentBecause of past experiences with people or circumstances beyond my control, “I expect to be hurt.”Fiore tentatively safe

To compensate I guard myself. Although this might make me seem cold, closed and distant. What else can I do?

Tentatively behind my barricade, I think I feel safe. It gives me a buffer zone and makes it easier to cope with life.

Fiore being guarded

 

 

 

But I can’t reach other people. I want to but the distance is too great. “How do I make myself safe and yet be close to people I care about?”

Reaching out

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘Fiore the flame’ is scared of the pain of being hurt but wants to connect with others and burn brightly.

Reflecting on Fiore’s dilemma, even a light shield can become heavy when it’s wielded for a long time. One arm is constantly encumbered by the shield, resources are compromised. It becomes draining and annoying when your resources are needed elsewhere but you have to still carry this shield. It’s similar with psychological baggage and energetic guarding. To maintain the protection takes effort and is exhausting.

Ever noticed how when walking down the street, some people can seem impassive and guarded. But if they meet a friend their whole demeanour can change. They open, they engage with their mate and are animated. It’s like they have dropped their shield but actually more likely they are still holding it in the background ready to fend off the next threat. But what about the possibility of letting go of the shield permanently.

Clients often report when something fundamentally changes within them, people respond to them differently. When people are approached with openness, they respond with opening. A virtuous circle can be sparked.

Have you heard of ‘Amma‘ – the hugging mama?

How does she hug bigillions of people? Wrapping them in warmth, reaching into their hearts and making them feel deeply cared for. Continually attracting numerous people who simply want a hug from her, she makes them feel good. I met her years ago, she’s unassuming and you wouldn’t necessary notice her in a crowd. But when you are near her there’s a palpable presence and gravitas to her. It’s like she’s open and shines.

How does she and others like her do it?

Being warm, caring and open doesn’t mean being vulnerable. There’s a different kind of strength to ‘openness’. It doesn’t force, block or manipulate, it’s melts like water on stone.

Maybe we don’t need barricades as much as we think. It is possible to be unguarded. The potential threat of being hurt pales in the light of wanting to open. You are ready for IST when you get to the point where opening is less scary than the multiple pains of staying closed. But any guarding needs to be seen and deconstructed. IST is a means to make that happen.

Opening isn’t as bad as you may think and it’s worth it. Give it a try.

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